Unable to cope
by doc boy
Summary: The war was finally over and the trio was looking forward towards a happy life in the future. But it seemed it would not be so easily acquired for a young traumatized witch. Luckily, she has someone in her life who can make it all better...


Unable to cope

I do not own Harry Potter

A/N: in this story Hermione and Ron never shared that kiss in the chamber of secrets

It was over. The war was over. Voldemort has been defeated and was finished for good. Harry and his friends could finally have the normal and happy life they always wished for. Everyone thanked the heroic trio for their actions and lined up to shake their hands and express their gratitude. Harry was already used to this kind of thing but that's not to say he ever liked it. Hermione and Ron however were rather overwhelmed by it. By the end of the day all three of them were exhausted. Exhausted, tired and emotionally drained. They needed some privacy and time for themselves. So, they apparated to Sirius's house in London, got in and locked the door behind them. Only then did they allow a sigh of relief to escape their lips. They went in for a group hug and did not say a word as they basked in the warmth and happiness it provided. Soon they each went to their separate rooms for a good night's sleep, without even bothering to prepare dinner. Ron slept on the third floor, while Harry and Hermione slept on the second floor, one room adjacent to the other. Harry had the first truly peaceful sleep in years. The best night's sleep he could ever recall having in fact. Up on the third floor, Ron was snoring loudly and Hermione's room was quiet as a mouse. Things went on like that for a few hours, but in the middle of the night, long before dawn would break, things started to change. Harry woke up groggily. He looked outside the window and saw it was still pitch dark outside. He looked at his watch and saw it was just before two in the morning. He sighed in frustration at the fact that he woke up from such a peaceful sleep. Only after a few seconds, did he realize why he was woken up. A sound. A sound he dreaded and hearing the most was coming from the other room. The sound of crying. Her crying. Hermione's crying. He quickly got out of bed and put his robe on and walked towards the door connecting his room with hers. He could hear her crying coming from behind the door. But it was nothing like the sort of crying he heard from her before. She seemed tormented, horrified, as she was being agonized by something. He didn't know what was hurting her so much but knew he had to find a way to make her feel better. He knocked softly on the door. No answer. He knocked softly again but still no answer. Gulping with concern, Harry gently and quietly opened the door and walked in. Hermione's room was about as dark as his. He walked over to her bed surprised to find her still asleep, but far from peacefully. She was squirming in her bed mumbling things he could barely make out except for things like

"_No… no… please… please not Harry…"_an eerie feeling of déjà vu filled Harry's mind. It reminded of him of his mother's last words before she was murdered by Voldemort. He can attribute remembering that to those blasted dementors that made a point to remind him of it. Putting the eerie feeling aside for now, Harry sat down gently on her bed and put a comforting hand on her shoulder.

"_Hermione…" _he said softly, his tone ever so tender.

"_Hermione…" _he whispered again, the tenderness and compassion in his voice growing ever so soft and gentle.

"_Hermione it's alright. It's just a dream. Wake up… wake up…"_ he said in a loving tone he never knew he had. Finally, her eyes opened and she gasped. As soon as she realized someone was touching her, she snapped out of bed and aimed her wand at Harry's face not realizing it was him at first because it was dark.

"Who are you?! What do you want?"

Shocked and afraid, Harry raised his hands in surrender.

"Easy Hermione. It's me." He said, trying to calm her down.

"Lumos", she said and Harry face was illuminated. The first thing she saw was the confusion and sadness in his eyes. But above all concern. Concern for her wellbeing. Sighing heavily, Hermione sank downward almost falling to the ground. Horrified at the thought she almost killed him. Knowing she was about to fall to the ground, Harry caught her and brought her into a hug. As soon as he wrapped his arms around her, the barrier was broken and she burst into tears and sobbed loudly into his shoulder like a little girl. Unsure of what to do and confused as to why she was crying, Harry simply sat both of them down back on her bed and cradled her in his arms. She sobbed hysterically, as if something truly horrible has happened to her. He has never seen her like that. What could possibly lead her to having such a breakdown? He tightened the embrace around her, holding her close to his chest, determined to protect her from further harm.

"Shh…" he voiced silently trying to calm her down.

"Shhh…" he sounded off again and started to rub her back gently as he continued to make soothing sounds. After some time, Hermione's crying began to subside and she began to quiet down. She clung onto Harry's shirt as if it were a teddy bear and listened to her breathing return to almost normal.

"Hermione what happened?..."

She sighed.

"I had a horrible nightmare. It was more like a night terror. When you woke me up, I thought it was someone trying to attack me. That never happened before… I think I might have PTSD because of the war we just fought…"

"You mean Post Traumatic Stress Disorder?"

"Yeah…" she muttered silently. Harry's face's frowned in sadness. Sad that his dearest friend was so badly scarred probably for life by this war.

He tightened the embrace around her.

"You want to talk about it?" he asked and Hermione bit her lip. She didn't really want to talk about her nightmare because it could make things awkward with him. But then, he was more than just a friend to her and his kind and loving gesture was not normal for a platonic friendship was it? She sighed heavily and opened her mouth to speak.

"It was a horrible nightmare. The worst one I ever had." She began. Harry rubbed her back gently as a cue for her to continue.

"I dreamt that I saw Voldemort kill you and then he tortured me to death. Then I had other dreams of you dying and me dying or being tortured or both in various contexts. In one of them, I tried to shield you from him and begged for your life but he wouldn't listen. He killed me in that dream, yet I could still see my dead body, lying on the forest floor as he killed you as well. But after that I couldn't see your soul emerge from your body. I couldn't understand why. If anyone deserves to spend an eternity in the afterlife it's you. Why wasn't your soul emerging from your body? I started to cry in my dream until I couldn't cry no more. The next thing I knew I woke up and here you were. Alive and well and here for me. Just like you always were…" she ended that sentence with a sigh. A sigh of a young women who felt and sounded tired and drained beyond her years.

Harry cupped the back her head in his hand and sighed as he rocked her slowly in his hands…

"I'm sorry Hermione. I'm sorry you had to go through that. I wish I could find a way to make you feel better…"

She smiled warmly at his kind words. She kissed him on the cheek.

"You already have Harry. You're doing it right now." Harry smiled sweetly at her and returned the gesture with a soft kiss of his own. After a long silence which seemed like hours, Harry spoke again.

"Hermione?"

"Hmm?"

"Can I ask you something?"

"Sure."

"Why was I such a prominent part of your dream. Why were you so afraid to lose me of all people?" he asked. Hermione bit her lip and blushed. She's been wanting to tell him this for a very long time. Years in fact but kept telling herself she would do it another time. By the time Voldemort came back, she knew it would have to wait until he was finished off because she didn't want Harry to be preoccupied. She opened her mouth and tried to find her voice to speak.

"I…" she started but did not know how to begin it. She closed her mouth, took a deep breath and tried again.

"I… I have something to tell you Harry." She began.

"I've felt this way for a very long time. Since I met you back in first year in fact, and the feeling only intensified over the years. By fourth year I felt like was about to explode if I didn't tell you. But when you know who came back, I realized I would have to wait a long time for me to tell you what I'm about to say because I didn't want you to be preoccupied with it during the war. And I believe the time to tell you is now."

She took one more deep breath and let her heart speak for her.

"The truth is… I love you Harry. I've always loved you and I will love you till the day I die and I want nothing else than to be with you and spend the rest of my life with you. That is why is was afraid of loosing you, both in my dreams and in real life. Aside from losing you I couldn't stand the thought of you dying before I told you how I felt and never getting the chance to spend time with you as I truly wanted…" she confessed and ended her sentence with a sigh, feeling an immense sense of relief, glad she was finally able to get it off her chest. She could feel Harry smile as he hugged her.

"I love you too Hermione. I adore you. You're the light in my life…" she smiled happily at his words.

"Ditto…" she said and gently pulled out of his embrace and they both gazed into each other's eyes. Harry extended his right thumb to wipe off the remaining tears from her right cheek and then raised his left thumb to the same for the other, as green met brown and he moved slowly towards her as their faces moved closer and closer as their lips met. At that moment, for the first time in his life, Harry felt whole and complete, both he and Hermione, could feel all the pain, sorrow and sadness, wash away as if it were never there, and basked in the beauty and purity of their kiss and love for each other. Everything else in the world did not matter. It was only them and their love for each other. Harry placed his arms around Hermione's neck and she placed hers around his waist, as they kissed like the happy and love deprived love birds that they were. They kissed tenderly, as their tongues explored each other's mouths, wanting the moment to last forever. But alas, after a while they could not hold their breath any longer and broke the contact their lips formed between them. They breathed heavily to catch their breath and then fell into another embrace and fell onto the bed and lay under the covers and confessed their love for each other, as they hugged and kissed each other to sleep…

Perhaps Hermione did not have PTSD after all and all she needed was much needed love from the person she loved and needed most…

The end…

So, there it is. Hope you guys liked it. I know I enjoyed writing it. Anyway, as always, reviews are most welcome…

See you around guys…


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